“If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” C.M Wallace I had the pleasure of reading this quote the other day. It reminded me why we need to be listening to our children. “Children get a voice not a vote,” has been my moto when I counsel children and … [Read more...] about My New Favorite Quote
Mental Health Issues
Jody Johnson and Honey Sheff, both CDD members, presented on July 20th at a gathering of collaborative law professionals in Frisco. The talk centered on effective strategies that collaborative professionals can employ when facing challenges with clients. These problems can cover a broad spectrum–from clients who do not really want the divorce, those who want to control matters beyond their … [Read more...] about CDD members present in Frisco to Collaborative Divorce Professionals
…from a Mental Health Professional’s Perspective Working as a Neutral Mental Health Professional, on collaborative teams, gives me a unique view of the process and my role. I have learned so many things from parents who are going thru a divorce, or are already divorced, and working to build a strong co-parenting relationship. It is not unusual, when I first meet people who have chosen this … [Read more...] about Building Bridges in the Collaborative Process
On a vacation in Zagreb, Croatia, I walked down a cobblestone street and came upon a small building with a sign that read, “Museum of Broken Relationships.” The words seemed so out of place, I was drawn in. I realized upon entering that it was a museum of sorts, but one that houses recent items. The concept was to ask people from anywhere in the world to send one item (of any size and shape), … [Read more...] about Collaborative Divorce: The Relationship After the Decree
First of all, you may feel alone, but you are not; it is not at all unusual to feel out of sorts or a little off at the holidays, even if it isn’t your first holiday post divorce. But being “thankful” in the context of divorce can feel like a bad joke or at least an oxymoron. But being conscious of this likelihood might make it easier when the maelstrom arises. Mental Health Professional Linda … [Read more...] about For the Spouse Without the Kids this First Thanksgiving
The MHP is neutral. That is an essential component of the mental health professional’s power in the collaborative divorce process. That said, if I’m on anyone’s “side,” it would be have to be that of the kids. My goal is to enable their parents to make the most informed decisions and to learn how to communicate and resolve conflict moving forward so that they can be the best co-parents that … [Read more...] about Mental Health Professional: Children’s Best Asset in Collaborative Divorce
The Mental Health Professional (MHP) manages the collaborative divorce process much like an emcee does any large-scale event, handling many moving parts to help create an outcome that is goal driven and designed to meet the clients’ needs. He or she facilitates the process that empowers adults undergoing divorce to structure a customized, individualized plan tailor made to move their family … [Read more...] about Why Does Collaborative Divorce Need a Mental Health Professional on the Team?
Litigation and Collaborative Divorce models both involve significant negotiation. Most litigation cases end in a negotiated settlement prior to trial, but the negotiation is frequently under the pressure of looming deadlines, such as temporary hearings, depositions and other discovery deadlines, mediation, and the trial date. The court system is in control, negotiation feels pressured, and it may … [Read more...] about What does Advocacy Look Like for the Attorney in the Collaborative Divorce Process?
Most people are uncomfortable with and adverse to major life change. This is human nature. It is not surprising that when people face separation and impending divorce, they grapple with disorientation, disillusionment, and even outright fear. With the reality of an uncertain future, vulnerable and off-kilter, perception is often a sense of being without protection. Communications can register … [Read more...] about Transitions: How Do We Feel Safe in Times of Change?
Psychological researchers stress the negative effects on children of contentious divorce. It’s no wonder that when parents engage in protracted litigation, the children can’t help but be emotionally disturbed by their parents’ fight. Children of traditional divorce experience these unhappy truths: 1. Parents forget their number one job–being a parent. They become preoccupied with their … [Read more...] about Traditional Divorce & the Issues for Children